A Tragicomical, Unsophisticated Blog about the Weird, the Absurd, and the Banal

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Nothing Still Happening

We were bored at the Java House and if that wasn't the reason then there was none.  My supervisor, B, looked up at the wood and plaster divider between the "back room" and the dining area and realized that if he climbed onto the counter he could pull himself up to stand on it, thus being the tallest person in the room.  From there, he might even be able to touch the ceiling, I thought.

"Dude, I can climb on top of this," he said.

My coworker, M, ever the pragmatist, asked, "Why?"

"Because, I just realized it's possible," B said, and climbed onto the counter.

"What's the point?" M asked again, cleaning the espresso machine.  No one had ordered a drink in ten minutes.

B hesitated.  "I've never done it before."

Personally, I thought B had offered two perfectly sound excuses to do pretty much anything and "Why?" had nothing to do with it.  So I, also bored, decided to encourage him.  I didn't want to stand on the divider myself, but seeing that it was Possible and that it had Never Been Done before made it a worthwhile venture.

"You should," I said.  "I'm enabling you."

"You mean 'empowering?'" M asked.  He's a Socratic type, and soon-to-be medical student.

"No, I mean enabling.  Empowering's overrated," I said and glanced at the register to make sure Nothing was still Happening.

B gauged the distance he would have to vault and then looked at the nearby customers.  "I'm afraid I'm going to break something."

"You probably will.  Yourself," M said.

"I'm going to do it before the night is over," B said, climbing down and grinning.

But he didn't.  After some deliberation, we all decided that the divider was not structurally sound enough to support him.  I choose to believe he could have touched the ceiling.


  1. Personally I believe that Life is too short to not try it! Also who knows if the ceiling would have been the limit?
    But who knows if really the possibility of doing it and dreaming about it isn't really better than actually doing it...

    You are free to choose the above to be either random shibboleths or very very high philosophy...

  2. I choose everything, Maeximus. Nothing less.